No More Tiger Selfies, NYC Men Will Have to Snag Chicks Some Other Way
There are some pretty bizarre trends going around these days, and just one of the many is men posting photos of themselves with tigers on online dating sites. Why? To seem manly and brave via some kind of weird, caveman-esque mating ritual showing that they can take on any wild beast to save his damsel in distress. Alas, there is a new challenge to this practice — a New York law threatening to ban tiger selfies.
If men trying to prove their macho-manliness can no longer pose with the wild, striped felines, what will become of the Tumblr blog dedicated to featuring their photos? How will women find suitable partners on the reliable sites Tinder and OKCupid if they cannot assess he size of the tiger with which her potential mate cuddles?
State legislators in both houses have passed a bill banning people from posing for photos while touching tigers in New York State. This, along with ridding the world of large, sugary sodas, clearly top the priority list of New York politicians, as they should the lists of everyone.
Manhattan Assemblywoman Linda Rosenthal explained that she introduced the legislation to increase safety at traveling circuses and fairs that allow the public to take photographs of themselves getting cozy with tigers. She did not point out, however, that there were only two big-cat attacks at traveling shows in New York over the last decade.
So no matter the size of the tiger with which you are posing, you will pay up to $500 for such a horrendous offense. If Tigger approaches you in New York, back away — yes, he LOOKS friendly, but it’s all a farce. Same with Raja — Jasmine better not consider a move to New York anytime soon.
Lauren Schuster, a staffer for Rosenthal, accurately pointed out what their law is REALLY going to do: “We’re killing bros’ dreams and chances of being laid!” She couldn’t have foreseen the consequences of this law any better. Seriously, if a man can’t post pictures of himself with tigers, I can’t think of how he will score chicks. Buying them drinks just doesn’t suffice anymore.
Despite this attack on the prominent method through which men demonstrate their masculinity, there is still hope, at least according to Rosenthal. “They can still pose with bears and monkeys,” the assemblywoman said. “They just have to take big cats off their list.” Even if dating app users can still pose with monkeys and bears…come on, that’s not NEARLY as sexy and manly. It’s just not the same! How are Tinder users going to woo the love of their lives while cozying up next to a monkey? Will that be the next blog on Tumblr? Simian selfies? That is bound to attract an entirely different type of woman. I guess only time will tell.
Marisa Mostek (@MarisaJ44) loves globetrotting and writing, so she is living the dream by writing while living abroad in Japan and working as an English teacher. Marisa received her undergraduate degree from the University of Colorado in Boulder and a certificate in journalism from UCLA. Contact Marisa at staff@LawStreetMedia.com.
Featured image courtesy of [Wilma Verburg via Wikimedia]